Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

A Dear John letter...

A Dear John letter…

Dear XBox 360,

This is not easy for me to say but I think we need to break up.  You see, someone new is coming into my life this Friday and she will take up all of my time.  But the hardest part of all for me to put into words is this one fact: she happens to be your younger sister.  We met through correspondence and have never seen each other face to face but her graphics look to be outstanding.  She has amazing particle effects and a depth that goes as far as my imagination.

She only has one eye, but it’s an eye that continually looks for me and follows me.  I don’t know this for a fact, but she tells me that she can just look at me and know how fast my heart is beating and respond accordingly.  Best of all, she wants me to watch TV with her.  I only have to tell her to turn the TV on and she does it instantly.  Just the sound of my voice and she does whatever I say.  I know you and I have been spending a lot of time together lately and you probably think that’s how it will always be.  But, while your Forza Horizon is great, her Forza takes it to a completely new level.  Sure, you and I like to play Madden Football together but my new love will show me the game with shimmering new detail.  She has connections with the NFL and watching football will be a fantasy come true.

Let me just say one more time that you and I have been together since 2005 and the years were magnificent; but the time has come for me to move on and unfortunately it’s time for you to go on to the shelf.  But dear Xbox 360 I will never forget the great moments we shared together.  I’m sure you are in a state of Bioshock right now.  One day when you are a vintage system you will understand that you were just another in a long line of console relationships.

Sorry to be so shallow.  It’s just who I am.

Love,

Ted

One thought on “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

  1. Yea, I don’t blame you. Time to trade up to a newer model. Ol 360 can just get over it. You will soon have the only “One” you need! You can do a 360 for only so long before you get dizzy and then sick. I think she is the only “One” for me too! But we not need fight because of our great cloning technologies that we have today, we can have as many as we want for everyone!

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